Sunday, May 23, 2010


Sometimes or should I say most times I feel like a up most failure in life. I feel like I am meant for so much more but haven't received that break or that opportunity.

I've spent 6 months in Roseburg, my hometown after leaving the construction business. With the construction field going further and further downhill I decided to go back to school and figure out what I want to do with my life. It just feels like I'm taking a step backwards everyday.

I spent 6 years in the Air Force doing construction and well I messed up my back and my knees and got booted out. after about a year and a half doing mediocre jobs I opted to start a construction business with my brother and best friend. long story short things got really slow and my brother went into the Air Force and we closed the business after 2 years.

Now I moved back to Roseburg (The Black hole) to save some money and be able to get back on my feet. I figured I'd use the GI BIll to pay for college and help pay for expenses like housing and food. I'm living with my grandfather helping him out after my grandmother passed away. I have been helping him out with doing work around the house and helping other family members out as well. Though I am not working I consider what I do pretty time consuming if you include the 5 classes I am taking. Thought I made a comment to a person after they asked me what I am going after in college. Jokingly I told them that I make more money going to college and I am going to be a professional student for 4 years. Yes this is true, I do make more money going to college than being a contractor. Thankfully I have paid off some of the 10k of business debt.

I just feel like I am in this huge hole I can not get out of. This never ending battle to stay ahead and I do feel like I am going no where in life. I wished I didn't feel as though I was running in place. I work my ass off and I have not gone anywhere.

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